Temporary Girlfriend Wanted

I can't quite imagine how my boyfriend is going to handle my six month absence. I can't quite imagine how I am going to handle not having him around all the time. But from experience, I've realised that it's usually a tad easier for the one who's going away. So, being the thoughtful girlfriend that I am, I've created this post as an advertisement to find a stand in.

Vacancy for Temporary Girlfriend
A sensitive, considerate, attractive male seeks a female
companion from August 4th 2009 to January 20th 2010
to take the place of girlfriend who will be going abroad.

Must posses the following qualities

• Good sense of humor
  
• Able to give morning wake up calls
• Must like long bus rides
• Enjoys serving in church a plus
• Loves Japanese food, especially Sashimi
  
• Encouraging and supportive
• Must not be grossed out by perspiration
• Must love good music (no nonsense like The Veronicas or Flo Ryder)
• Must be between 22-28 years old
• No taller than 1.63m
• Only below average lookers need apply
  

Fans of Transformers, Gundam robots, Japanese Manga, Marvel comics and fast food need not apply. (We don't want him falling too madly in love with you.)

You will be paid in kind and intangibes.

• Regain your self esteem
• Learn how to be sensitive and self sacrificing
• Be showered with constant attention and care
• Never fall or loose your balance on a moving/crowded bus or train again
• Have someone to share your calories with
• Get discounts at the Esplanade
• Be serenaded on occasion

Interested parties should leave a comment and send in a resume with a picture attached to getthatboyawoman@gmail.com by 24th July 2009. Interviews will be conducted on 26th July 2009. Only successful applicants will be notified.